How to Help a Friend Overwhelmed by Anxiety, Panic, or Stress

What You Can Do—Even If You're Not a Therapist

Have you noticed a friend lately who seems emotionally on edge, constantly anxious, or withdrawing from daily life? Maybe they've shared that they're having panic attacks or feel "stuck" in their own head. It's hard to watch someone you care about suffer—and even harder when you don't know how to help.

If you're feeling helpless in the face of your friend's anxiety or stress, this post is for you.

What's It's Like to Be Emotionally Overwhelmed

When someone is overwhelmed by anxiety, it's more than just feeling stressed. It's like being caught in a storm of racing thoughts, physical tension, and emotional paralysis. They might say things like:

• "Everything feels like too much."

• "I can't turn my brain off."

• "I feel like I'm drowning."

In psychological terms, this state is sometimes described using the concept of "creative hopelessness." Imagine someone stuck in a hole, digging hard to get out—but the only tool they have is a shovel. So they keep digging. But the more they dig, the deeper the hole becomes.

Every strategy they try to "feel better" ends up feeding the cycle: overthinking, avoiding, perfectionism, people-pleasing, scrolling—none of it works long-term.

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A Simple Exercise You Can Try Together

You can help your friend begin to see their experience from a different angle with this gentle exercise:

Ask them to write down each of their current worries on a small piece of paper. Once they've done that, invite them to hold those papers right up in front of their face.

Then ask:

"What can you see?"

Probably, they'll say:

"Just the paper."

That's exactly the point. When our mind is full of worries, they block our view of the bigger picture. This doesn't mean the worries are fake or unimportant—it just means we need to create some distance so we can see more clearly again.

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How to Help a Friend with Anxiety—Without Becoming Their Therapist

You don't need to be a mental health professional to be a meangingful support. In fact, the most powerful thing you can offer your friend is a compassionate presence—one that doesn't try to fix, force, or minimize what they're going through.

Simple ways to help a friend with anxiety feel seen and supported:

🧠 1. Understand Their Struggle—Without Needing to Solve It

Your friend may be battling thoughts that feel heavy and relentless. Thoughts like "I'm failing," "I'm not enough," "Something bad is going to happen."

Instead of countering those thoughts with "That's not true!" (which rarely helps), you can validate the experience without validating the thought itself:

"It sounds like your mind is being really loud and critical right now. That must be exhausting."

You're not agreeing with the thought—you're acknowledging the toll it's taking. That's powerful.

💧 2. The Glass of Water Metaphor: Why Holding On Hurts

Here's a simple way to help your friend (and you) understand what anxiety really does to us:

Hold up a glass of water and ask, "How heavy do you think this is?"

They might guess: 200 ml, 300 ml...

Then say:

"The weight doesn't matter as much as how long I hold it. If I hold this for a minute, no problem. An hour? My arm starts to ache. A day? I'll be in serious pain. It's the same glass—but the longer I hold on, the heavier it feels."

Worry is just like that: a thought might be light at first, but holding onto it tightly—day after day—makes it feel unbearable.

Then you might gently ask:

"What would it feel like to set that glass down for a bit?"

"Or maybe... drink the water?"

Sometimes, it's not about "letting go" entirely. It's about changing how we relate to the worry—putting it down, just for now.

💬 3. Say Things That Create Space, Not Pressure

If you want to support your friend without feeling like you need all the right answers, try phrases like:

• "I hear how stuck this is making you feel."

• "You don't have to go through this alone."

• "I'm here, even if you don't know what you need right now."

Avoid saying things like:

• "Try to think more positively."

• "It's not that bad."

• "Other people have it worse."

Your empathy—not your advice—is the medicine.

📩 4. When to Gently Suggest Professional Support

Sometimes, your friend may need more than your presence alone—and that's completely okay. If their emotional distress is persistent, if they've withdrawn from the things and people they normally enjoy, or if they seem "stuck" despite your support, it may be time to gently suggest professional help.

You might also notice signs like difficulty sleeping—trouble falling asleep, waking frequently, or still feeling exhausted in the morning. These can be signs that their emotional load is too heavy to carry alone.

This doesn't need to be a dramatic intervention. You can simply say:

"I care about you so much. I wonder if it might help to talk to someone trained in this—just so you don't have to carry it all alone."

Let that seed be planted. Don't push. Just stay open.

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Help Is Here—Even Just for One Session

At MsPsychGV, I support professionals and young adults in the Netherlands who are struggling with anxiety, stress, or emotional overwhelm. You don't have to commit to long-term therapy to find relief—sometimes, a single session is enough to help you or your friend gain clarity and breathe a little easier.

💬 Not sure where to start?

You're welcome to book a free 15-minute consultation to talk through your situation and see what kind of support might be most helpful.

📩 Contact me today to schedule your free call or book a Single-Session Therapy appointment—for yourself, or to help a friend get the support they need.

You don't have to carry this alone.

You don't have to start big.

You just have to start.

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⚠️ Important Note

If you are concerned that your friend is at risk of harming themselves or someone else, it's important to act quickly.

In the Netherlands, you can contact:

• 113 Suicide Prevention at www.113.nl or call 0800-0113 (available 24/7)

• Your local huisarts (GP) or the Spoedpost (emergency services) in your region

• In case of immediate danger, call 112

This blog post is for informational and supportive purposes only. It does not replace professional mental health care or emergency services.